Caroline Crandall Co-Founder + CEO + COO + CFO + Chief HR Officer + Principle Architect of Chaos + Director Calculated Risks + Keeper of the Destinies

THE HANDS THAT WEED YOU

Chris Lee Director Digital Design + Guardian of the Systems + Master of the Metaverse +

Leila Samara Marketing Mama + Quick Question Queen + Premier Party Starter + Baroness of Oh yeah? Bet. We'll See About That

Jonathan Crandall Co-Founder + COO + Chief Administrative, Media and Information Officer + Multi-Hyphenate Triple Threat

Manny Pressman Cannabis Cryptanalyst + Director Terpene Taskforce + Blog Whisperer + Chief Executive Pun Officer

Joel Lindsey Inventory Overlord + Menu Architect + Daddy Dab + Top Shelf Terror

Caroline Crandall

Co-Founder + CEO + COO + CFO + Chief HR Officer + Principle Architect of Chaos + Director Calculated Risks + Keeper of the Destinies

Co-founder. CEO. Fearless leader. Dame of the Double (and Triple) check. When she's not Caro-ing the business, she's...well... Honestly, not entirely sure. We've seen her eat food before. Pretty confident. And podcasts about data and analysis, maybe? Surely TV at home. Reality trash? British Bake Off? Morgan's Penguins vs David's Planet? We don't know. Or…is it work? Is work a hobby? Mom of Holl-Ball and KittyBoi, Caroline has mastered the ancient arts of Herding Cats, Redirecting the Zoomies, and the "You have got to be kidding" eyes. She's been preparing for this her whole life. She's bled, sweat, and cried. No one would call it overwrought or compulsive, but you don't see any problems, do you? On the front line with fearsome resolve, and behind the scenes as cool, calm and collected as Pokemon and Labubu, Caroline is the Capitán of this ship. With the six windows and 47 tabs. Oh and the Google Calendar and all the checklists. Pretty sure those are on the second monitor, with the live updates. And there's something maybe called a Kanban board.... One thing we do know, Caroline is why we're here today.

Jonathan Crandall

Co-Founder + COO + Chief Administrative, Information, Technology and Marketing Officer + Multi-Hyphenate Triple Threat

The man with the plan. The genius behind the brand. Actor. Director. Musical artist. Husband. Partner. Jon The Builder. Collector of hats, skills, side quests, and jobs. Green Theory's very own Will Smith, riding through this Wild Wild West. NW DC, that is. Everyday is a Long and Winding Road in this industry. Born To Be Wild, Jon has Walked The Line on The Boulevard of Broken Dreams. And Life Is A Highway.. To Hell , but in his Fast Car Jon Won't Stop Believing. Honestly, You've Got a Friend in him. Someone you can Lean On. A maestro on the keys, tickling the ebonies and ivories, he's bringing that fiyaah to the streets. Jon spends his days bouncing between Chief Solution Strategist, Director, Executive Producer, Singer-Songwriter, Designer, Builder, and whatever else today needs. Former daredevil. One of those kids you saw doing something dangerous and then laughing through the teeth he didn't crack. His optimism is unshakable. Anxiety-inducing. Detached from the laws of physics, logic, pragmatism, and self-preservation. For every "What if it fails?" Jon has a "What if it works? But if not, has anyone seen the Gorilla Glue?" It's probably all the times he's hit his head. Which it's still working!! And so well! Jon wears a lot of hats. He likes hats. His collection is actually pretty sick. But also, like, metaphorical hats. You know? Wrote the soundtrack. Designed the logo. Built the walls. Fixed the walls. Glued how many a wheel, we'll never know. Built. Stripped. Rebuilt. Like, who Green Theory really is, on the inside. This isn't one of those Canadian girlfriends from camp. This right here is the real deal, baby.

Leila Samara

Role

You may find her 20 minutes into a long story short. Or so locked in her laptop's on her chest. Often you'll hear before you see her, winning fights against boxes, farm doors and top shelves. Also probably singing or dancing or whisper screaming and punching the air. Because she forgot that you can still see her. Who is this whimsical enigma, you ask? This weed fairy? It's Leila. Full of dimension and dichotomies. Leila is all about balance. Some mornings she'll walk in after facing a j with 300 mgs chocolates in her triple oat flat white. A Mari-Mocha, if you will. Others its a Celsius, cigarette, RSO kinda day. You can't put this girl in a box. But you know what you can put into a box? Everything else. Literally. And there is actually a perfect box for everything. And perfect shelf for every box. And you know those train people? Like the train train people. Weed's Leila's trains. Shit started casual, just talking, still seeing other people. She looked up and they were spending every day together. She had a toothbrush over there. Who changed the relationship status on facebook? Leila Hates: Beets. Heart or brain. That weird little hangy thing in the back of your throat. Whatever. Well she does not give a monkeys uncle, or a rats ass, about those body parts anyways. Pepsi Leila Loves: Being underestimated Pasta Anyways, long story short: Pro-pepsi people, and their taste, are not granted the benefit of Leila's doubt. There's some feelings there for sure...But one of those "eh, whatever's clever. They both kinda taste the same" assholes? Yeah...keep that psychopath tf away from her.

Chris Lee

Chief Technology Officer + Director of Digital Design + Systems Liberator + Master of the Metaverse

Chief Technology Officer. Guardian of the Systems. Master of the Metaverse. Bring Chris a problem, find out it's actually seven. Four avoidable. All personally offensive. "This is the stupidest shit I've ever seen." Famous last words. Also, ominous first. The portal? Jailbroken. Platform? Bent to his will. Staff? Mostly unburnt by each fiery trial. SEOs, APIs, badges, oh fuck. If it can work better, it will. If someone can work better, well, you should. What is wrong with you? Alongside his partner, he runs the nonprofit Nuclear Family, reporting to every whim and behest to the Chief Executive Managing Director of The Teeny Tiny Operations and the Manager of Training The Humans. Down to only seven guitars. Practically guitarless. His rockstar nights aren't over, just over by bedtime. Entertainer, project manager, problem finder and fixer, private chef, chauffeur. The Chris we know and love. It's not Maybelline folks. Or as the kids say, It Ain't On Him, It's In Him. We didn't know it was a problem. Now there's a checklist. A binder. Some notes. Check your email. It's fine. Once you get it, you better...I mean you will get it. Still don't know what an aerator is. But that's for next month's list. And don't worry, you're totally fine. Nooo, you did not piss him off. Of course he agrees with your taste in weed. For sure, definitely, he probably doesn't think you're stupid. His face just looks like that.

Joel Lindsey

Inventory Overlord + Menu Architect + Website Wizard + Top Shelf Terror

Keeper of Kush. Master of Menus. Wrangler of the Website. Standing comfortably somewhere around the top shelf, Joel's your guy...especially if you need something he put up there in the first place. He's been smoking, growing, washing, and sharing weed longer than you, buddy. Bartender. Chef. Hash enthusiast. Concentrate snob. Please don't get him started on nutrients, solvents or a flash freeze. But pack a bowl and sit back if you do. Outside the shop you'll probably find him singing to his plants and stopping to pet every single dog the light touches. Flavor chasing, skiing, biking, running...if you can catch him you might. He enjoys conspiracy theories that make sense, pretending not to like puns, and doing dangerous things with whatever is the opposite of self-preservation. He finds the intellectually unburdened endlessly endearing, making him the perfect people person. He does not enjoy bad weed, conspiracy theories that don't make sense. But mainly being asked his likes and dislikes. Still got seven lives left too...and the scars to prove it.

Manny Pressman

Director Terpene Taskforce + Blog Whisperer + Chief Executive Pun Officer

Cannabis Cryptanalyst. Flavor Fanatic. Explorer of Effects. Professional Pun Pusher. As the In-House Nerd, compact enough to fit in a locker, Manny is living proof that the smallest people can, and often do, in fact, create the biggest, largest most amount of chaos. As a stand-up comedian, with severe social anxiety, Manny is either incredibly brave or really interesting. Maybe curious is a good word. To be honest, it's very confusing. Thankfully, weed exists. Sometimes drugs are the answer. When they're not learning everything, through passionate study, and enthusiastic User Testing, or writing blogs you actually read, they're outside throwing a frisbee, hiking, lifting, or any way to never sit still. Once a die-hard sativa loyalist, today's news cycle-induced anxiety has this Sad Diva going on an Indi-kick (Indica kick..Indi-kick). Their pun-chant for wordplay has never left (much to the ha-grin of their coworkers).